Red with Shame

Cold sweat drips from my scalp down to my face as I line up. The tension is seen on my face, my forehead crunched up, my mouth bitting my lip and my vision fading. The woman yells "Again!". My knees weaken as I fall in line once more. "Take your seats we will start from the top" she commands. I take my seat on the pew. "One more time and do it right!". with my hands cold I force myself to my feet to once again stand in line. "No more" I say to myself, "I can't take it anymore!". My head drenched in sweat, my hands cold as ice, my legs irritable and my bladder overflowing I pee. I try not to alarm her but my teacher notices the puddle that surrounds my feet. My cheeks glow, no they burn. "I wish I wasn't there, I wish I were just hung by the neck on a post or god please just take me now" I say to myself. They stared, the class didn't laugh they just stared. Thank goodness it was just a practice for the communion and I was just in the second grade but never will I forget the day I urinated on the floor of god's house.

Happiness is Obselete

The sun hits my eyes, there isn't cloud in the sky and I stop to marvel at the breeze at it cools my body. I ask myself this question "Is this true happiness?"

Is happiness physical or more spiritual? Will I know what true happiness is even if it hits me in the face? Not even the great Aristotle, Plato or the other great philosophers could have truly explained what happiness is. In my personal opinion happiness can take the form of countless things and is different for every person. Each person is unique therefore each person has different descriptions on what happiness is for them. Happiness could range from a simple breeze to having sex for as long as there is an absence of the "bad" in that instance. Personally happiness is simply sharing anything at all with the one you love.

Different points of view makes happiness a great discussion when you just want to strike a conversation among friends and family.

Wishing and Waiting

Did you ever experience the "wishing and hoping" feeling? You wish and hope that you could do this or accomplish that but sadly life is just too unfair. If I had a nickel every time I thought of how I should have done something so that I could be on stage performing or a master chef. Is this truly a bout how unfair life is or is it just me being lazy again?
For several years I tried different sports and hobbies hoping that something would fit me. So far I took gymnastics, swimming, volleyball, badminton, tennis, musical theater, voice lessons, drum lessons, soccer and even baking but only 2 from the above mentioned floats my boat. How do you know when to pursue something or when to just let it be? Being 15 I cannot say that I've had experienced a lot of trying things that were not really meant to be for me but I know my parents had enough of me and my "lessons".
Even if I am inclined to kitchen duty and racket sports I've always wanted to learn the art of ballet. Ballet being a predominantly woman's scene, I feel that I shouldn't even touch that subject if I don't want to get kicked-out from the house but something draws me close to it. The art of ballet is so flawless and so precise that only one wrong movement can turn a marvelous performance into a fiasco I guess the perfection of the dance draws me close to this art. I believe that I could have done good in ballet because of my flexible body and my being a perfectionist. Sadly we would never know because of my "shoulda, woulda, couldas".

My Worst Nightmare

My worst nightmare includes a person breaking up with me and this was very recent therefore replacing my nightmare with the infinite hallways wherein I cannot get out. Lets go to My worst nightmare, I noticed that really bad nightmares happen when you're sick or feeling bad because in my personal experience with bad nightmares is that when I get a nasty nightmare I usually don't wake up from it right away and when I do, I find out that I am sick or have something wrong with me.
Last July 7, I fall into a deep slumber after a long night of parting with my brother as it was his 20th birthday. At first, nothing, then I see a setting, School! I run toward it but I know in my gut that something is not right. And there it was, standing in the center of the school's big field, the person I loved oh so much that there is no explaining how deep my love for that person was. I run toward the person finding a rose in the person's hand it say "thanks!" and hug the person. We got out of the subdivision and had a great time together. It was like a dream-come-true. We went to the mall shopped till we dropped then went to the beach riding an airplane and we were the only people who occupied the beach. We had the time of our lives. We even stayed in one room...(we shared happy moments in that room). We had a romantic dinner by the beach watching the sunset. The perfect date. After the romantic days, I thought to my self that life is sweet. My date approaches me and kisses my cheek, I smile. Then the bad part happens, I say that we have to go home and that we have our lives to attend to but my date says "Life here is fine. I've got money that will last lifetimes and nobody will ever interfere with our lives for the rest of eternity." Sadly I chose to go home because I know that our relationship will strengthen if we had a stable foundation for our lives. Sadly the person, being so stubborn, stays and tries to stop me by using reason and lots of it. I watch the Island and the person in it as the plane takes-off into the sunset. Tears fall from my eyes down to my cheeks and splash into the large puddle that it already formed. I just couldn't feel happy. All I felt was grief and disbelief toward my decision. I was stupid. I wake-up from the nightmare with actual tears on my face and my temperature was 40 degrees Celsius. I had a high fever and a cough to boot. I'll miss that island and I'll miss my lover.

China Town’s Treasure

Delicious Chinese food in China Town

By: David Espina

Its 1pm and I find myself under the blistering heat of the sun in the heart of Binondo, the Binondo Rotonda (located in front of the San Lorenzo church). Stomach pains force me to walk along Ongpin st. looking for a place to eat. I took a left to Salazar st. and by the time I get to Benavides st. my stomach tells me to look for a restaurant and quick. I luckily find a restaurant named Wan Chai Tea House. As I am seated I ask for a menu. Looking at their long list of appetizers, entrees and many more, I order 7 scrumptious looking meals.

As the first order, Spinach Birds Nest Soup, comes in, my stomach can hardly contain its joy of knowing that there was food. The waiter placed the soup into a smaller bowl, I wanted to say “hwag mo nang ilagay sa maliit na bowl hihigupin ko nalang galling diyan”. My lips touch the piping-hot green soup and I felt a sense of happiness that a little boy would feel eating his first ice cream. I could see that the slimy Spinach Birds Nest Soup was made out of the typical birds nest soup but they added minced carrots, processed spinach leaves, button mushrooms and egg. The flavor was not strong and it gave me a bigger appetite.

Next on the menu was the Crystal Prawns with Broccoli. This dish was very interesting because of the distinctive crunchiness broccoli together with the succulent prawns. The fresh prawns turned out to still have its natural sweetness combined with Chinese spices to make it a good combination of salty and sweet. I noticed the combination of carrots, leaks (which gave it a little kick) and straw mushrooms.

The next entrée that came was the flavorful Peking Duck (pronounced peeking duck). There were three parts of the duck, the white meat, the dark meat and the skin. I could hardly tell the difference of the white from the dark meat because they were both darkly colored. There are three ways of eating the duck. The first is the skin chopped into squares, about 1 inch by 1 inch, and then it is wrapped in rice flour wrapper (lumpia wrapper) with a leak and Hoi Sin sauce inside. The second way is when the meat is served chopped and sautéed in a special sauce and served on a bed of tofu with shrimp flavored cracklings. The third way is soup flavored with the bony parts of the duck (i.e. head, neck, etc). This oily delicacy has dark white meat because of the way it is cooked, with hot poaching liquid poured on the duck to slowly cook it. Even if the white meat was dark, the dark meat, as usual, was more flavorful. The meat was very tender. This is probably the oiliest dish ever invented by man.

Next was the Pata Tim. The meat was so soft it would fall of the bone and the skin soaked-up the sweet sauce that it made it like jelly. This dish was very rich. You could see the sweet side of Chinese cooking in this dish. I usually don’t like sweet main courses but for this one I made an exception. I had to eat the Yang Chow Fried Rice together with this dish so that the flavor would not be too overwhelming. The fried rice had minced sweet ham, scrambled eggs, green peas and carrots mixed with it. What was so good about this rice was that the grains were not sticky so you could taste the different flavors of the rice one at a time and not in just one munch. Again another sweet Chinese dish.

As I felt my stomach almost full I see the next dish, the Steamed Groper (lapu-lapu). I magically regain my appetite. The steamed fish was served with a sauce that was very foreign to my taste buds; it was somewhat salty and sweet. There were leaks, ginger and spring onions. The sauce smelled of dark soy sauce, star anis and molasses to make it viscous. Since it was steamed, the meat was very soft and you could notice that the fish was very fresh. The combination of flavors was great.

Lastly the dessert, Taro Sago. It was served cold. It just tasted like taro therefore there was hardly any flavor, which was good because of all the very powerful flavors of the past dishes. It was very starchy. There were small tapioca balls and cubed taro in a cold viscous soup.

I ate these dishes together with a bottle of water and a ripe mango shake to suppress the flavors.

So if you are in the vicinity of Binondo this is a must see because of tits delightful Chinese dishes.

Philippine Politics

As usual, we cannot say that politics is dirty although we cannot say it's clean either. Without proof one ones misdoings we cannot convict him/her. With the past elections I have seen the Philippines degrading when it come to desperation of the politicians. Politicians need votes and they will get what they want to secure their position in the government. In the past election there have been reports of precincts being burned down, pol watchers dying, missing ballot boxes and vote buying. The sad part is that Filipino families suffer because of the greediness of the politicians. Whats even sadder is that people are pointing fingers at someone to blame like little kids. Is the Philippines, or better yet, is the world going back to the stone age when it comes to elections? Somehow cartoons, comic books and other fictional stories taught me that there always be a villain. Even some police men are getting judged of misconduct which lowers the credibility of the Philippine National Police.

“Justice and power must be brought together, so that whatever is just may be powerful, and whatever is powerful may be just.” -Blaise Pascal

What if they are not brought together? There will be power, which was given by the people, without justice. A world without justice is hell on earth. Politicians doing what they want without laws/rules to confine them.

Although some people may say its the people's fault that they voted for the stupid politician in the first place, there is still something we call "dagdag/bawas" this may be the dirtiest thing that a politician can do, add votes to himself/herself or subtract votes of the opponent. In this case it may wrong to blame the people on their choice.

I hope justice may be served to all.

Whats life on the other side?

At times I ponder on the on whether life after high school will be the same as life after it. Will it still have the same old kind people who greet you from day to day or will it still be strict as hell when I get out? Sometimes just thinking about it freaks me out because of the uncertainty ahead. Even if countless people you know who have experienced life outside high school say that it's the same old place just with different people, it will always be a different experience for different people.

A a graduating student from high school, the eagerness of graduating just gets to me even if i know that i will still be living under the rule of dear old mom and dad. As exciting as the thought may be I am also afraid of leaving high school or what some people call the fake or plastic world. Stepping out of high school will be like stepping out of my comfort zone or like leaving home for your first ever class outing, scared that your parents wont be there to guard every step you take. Now I am at the point of choosing my course for my college life which will direct my career life. Fear creeps over me as I look at colleges I pass by on the way to Manila. The fear is best described as the "stage-fright" fear (who would have know that there were different classifications of fear).

Although I am getting cold feet, the hope of a better life in the end comforts me and serves as my inspiration. As I look at college students freely walking their campus I feel at ease to find smiles on college students faces and their life looks so sweet and so the saying goes "You don't need to bite the doughnut to know its sweet".